Saturday, March 21, 2009

Dinner with friends

R: You are either really lucky or unlucky. Just the extremes.
V(laughing it off): yeah!
B: I would give it more time when it comes to me.
R: You would come to know after around 6 months what kind of a person she is.
V: You would not know the real person until that person is really under pressure.
Me(Smirking): Pressure a? What pressure?
V: You know when you have a kid and are working at the same time and you have to manage a lot of things.
R: But come on, if you live with a person for 6 months, you will pretty much know who she is.
V (Nodding): Yeah, but the real character you will know only in pressure situation.
R: But you'll know with high probability(sic) if the person is ok for you or not.
V: Yeah, that I will know. If it will work or not. I'll just have to live with it anyway, it works or not.
R: If it doesn't work out, you can always leave V.
V(Innocently): Who will marry me then?

V's marriage has been arranged. '99%!'

A pro-arranged marriage opinion: An Indian woman's take[1]
"Here, we get married without having feelings for the person. We base our marriage on commitment, not on feelings. As our marriage progresses, the feelings develop. In America, you base your decision to marry on feelings, but what happens when the feelings wane? You have nothing left to keep the marriage together if you get married according to feelings and then the feelings go away."

A pro-love marriage argument
A marriage should be based on love. How could someone enter wedlock with someone he/she is not in love with?(as with most arranged marriages)

A balance
A marriage requires love and commitment. The romance of a marriage is incomplete without love and it's essence is a commitment. Overlooking one over the other is not right.
A commitment solely based on love wavers like the vicissitudes of life. A higher motivation is needed for it to be stable. What could this higher motivation be? Well, that is what you need to think about.